


Christmas Spirits

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Series: Taking Liberties [3]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-10
Updated: 2004-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-05 23:46:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to Krissie Kringle and Red Is The Colour That I Like The Best, this fic consists of f/f, f/f/m, and m/m pairings. There isn't much smut, because my smutathalamus (it's a important part of the brain, people) isn't working very well, but all the same I hope people enjoy this little Christmas offering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Spirits

**Author's Note:**

> Red Dwarf characters belong to Grant Naylor.

All the long corridors of _Red Dwarf_ were adorned with tinsel or fairy lights or sprays of artificial holly, brought up from the storage bays to promote the festive season. A number of foil banners bore the words SEASON'S GREETINGS or MERRY CHRISTMAS, and in some places handmade signs wished people HAPPY HANUKKAH or a range of other seasonal greetings. The annual Christmas Day celebrations were in full swing; the Officers' Dining Hall was filled with drunken officers, while smaller parties attracted the lower-ranking crewmembers.

In one particular bunkroom, Lister sat alone, half a glass of eggnog and a game of solitaire on the table in front of him. He wore a set of plastic antlers and was wishing that he'd signed up for the elf program. At least delivering Christmas cheer to other people would be better than sitting by himself, staring at the playing cards and wondering whether anyone would visit him.

There was a knock at the door. Lister looked up. 'Come in.'

The door slid open and Rimmer entered. Much to Lister's surprise, Rimmer was alone.

'Where're your girlfriends, Rimsy?' Lister took a swig of the eggnog. It was revolting, but a malfunction with the vending machine outside his quarters had delivered it to him in place of the lager he'd requested. 'It's Christmas.'

'Yes, and you know what that means? It's their one year anniversary.' Rimmer sat down across from Lister and polished off the last of the eggnog. 'Everything else is about the three of us, but Krissie started saying, 'remember when' and stuff, and since the three of us didn't make it official until Valentine's Day, I felt like a third wheel.'

'A threesome _needs_ a third wheel. It's a requirement. It's like a tricycle, only with more sex.'

'Why aren't you out with Petersen and that lot, anyway?' Rimmer asked. Lister could smell the eggnog on Rimmer's breath and something else -- Rimmer had been drinking, probably alone. 'I'm surprised you're here, actually. I didn't expect you to be here at all.'

'Petersen's with McGruder. Selby's with God only knows who. Chen's passed out underneath a table in the Copacabana. We finished celebrating early.'

Rimmer looked up at the clock on the wall. 'It's only four o'clock, you must have _started_ early as well.'

''Bout ten. Maybe I'm just getting too old for this smeg.' Lister lit a cigarette and looked at Rimmer through the cloud of smoke it produced. 'I'm still surprised you're not with your girls. I would be, if I were you.'

'Well, you know, they deserve their special day as well,' Rimmer said. 'I mean, I was with them last Christmas--'

'Did I ask?'

'--but it wasn't quite so official yet. It was mostly just the sex.'

Lister moaned quietly. 'Rimmer, please. It's bad enough that you're with Kris and I'm not. Don't rub it in.'

'You were the one who smegged off with that git Ace Rimmer,' Rimmer pointed out. 'You can't blame a woman for being lonely.'

'Yeah. She was so lonely she needed to shack up with _you_. I really _do_ feel guilty now.' A look of pain crossed Lister's face. 'I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean that. It's the drink.'

'Getting into that Christmas spirit?' Rimmer cracked. 'Do you want another drink?'

'Why not?'

* * *

An hour later they were back on the topic of Kochanski, although with a few more drinks under their respective belts (or, in Lister's case, sagging slightly over the top of his belt). Lister had moved to his bunk; Rimmer, to his former bunk, which was now assigned to a young man who spent all his time in his girlfriend's quarters anyway. Lister had cited it as another example of how everyone except him was getting laid, with the smile that didn't quite reach to his eyes. Now Lister was hanging with his head over the side of the bunk, looking uncomfortable, but apparently happy to dangle there to be able to talk to Rimmer face to face.

'I still don't know how you can drink upside down like that,' said Rimmer.

Lister demonstrated. It helped that he'd found a straw, although one of dubious quality, given that it had been stuck between the bunk edge and his mattress. 'It's easy once you get the hang of it.'

'Practice makes perfect,' Rimmer said wisely.

'I take every opportunity I can to practice. Drinking, that is. It makes the fact that we're three million years from home and back under the command of Captain Arsewipe that little bit more bearable. I can even stand to watch you and Kochanski smooching in the mess hall.'

'Lister, there's no point in you getting jealous. You and Krissie had your time. She chose to move on, and so did you, taking off with Ace like that.'

Lister rolled off the bunk and landed -- miraculously -- on his feet. He sat on the floor beside Rimmer. 'You're not the only one I'm jealous of.'

Rimmer laughed nervously. 'I suppose you're jealous of Holly too.'

'In a way. But I'm jealous of Kris too. She's got you.' Lister's brown eyes were almost comically serious. 'Why do you think I went off with Ace?'

'To find a girlfriend?'

'I went off with Ace because he was the Rimmer I'd fallen in love with. But travelling with him made me realise that, although he'd gained so much when he became Ace, he'd lost whatever it was that made me love him. Then I came back here and saw you with Kris and knew that I'd missed another chance -- not just with her, but with you.'

'Lister, I'm taken. She's taken.' Rimmer shook his head. 'We can't make this any more complicated than it already is.'

'You're alone on Christmas Day, and so am I. Is it such a bad thing to -- well -- you know -- just once?' Lister leaned in close, his familiar round face suddenly taking on the same puppy-dog expression Kris had once told Rimmer that he'd perfected.

'This had better not be the booze talking, Lister,' Rimmer said, and then kissed him. It was clumsy, and their teeth clashed together, and Lister's tongue seemed to be attempting to imitate a hooked fish, but Rimmer was patient and Lister gained some measure of control, and then they were clinging together as if they were the ones who had been lovers for a year, not Kochanski and Holly.

'How do we make this work?' Rimmer asked after a few minutes of getting used to Lister's mouth.

'I could use a shower,' Lister said. 'Chen threw up on me and I tried to clean it off, but I don't want to smell bad.'

'A shower it is, then.'

The small rituals of gathering a towel from the linen cupboard, of replacing the scrap of soap with a new bar, and of adjusting the shower water to a nice temperature served to ground them both, and it was only when they stepped into the shower together that the fact that they were sobering up and still planning to go ahead with this hit.

'Will Kris and Hol mind?' Lister asked.

'I think I'll have to worry about that when I get home,' Rimmer said.

Okay, so maybe they weren't _entirely_ sobered up.

Lister picked up the soap and ran it over Rimmer's back, creating tiny bubbles, drawing random designs, hearts and stars and their initials. Rimmer closed his eyes to enjoy the sensation, which wasn't entirely unfamiliar -- though it was harder to fit three people into the JMC shower stalls than two, he and Kochanski and Holly had managed it more than once. He felt Lister's soapy hand reach around to caress his cock, and wasn't entirely surprised that he responded the way Lister wanted, slowly growing harder under Lister's expert touch. A part of his mind wondered how Lister knew so much, and another part derisively pointed out that Lister was a man too, and thus probably knew a little something about male masturbation.

Lister's other hand dropped the soap on the shower floor, but Rimmer didn't move to pick it up, although living with two women had trained him about the dire consequences of leaving the shower in a mess. Besides, Lister's hand was between his legs, feeling for the entrance to his body, and then one soap-slick finger was inside him, slipping in with such ease that Rimmer had to brace himself against the shower wall, entirely unprepared for how good it felt.

'Have you done this before?' he managed to gasp.

'Maybe,' was Lister's response. He twisted his hand a little and Rimmer felt himself stretch wider as Lister added another finger. It felt strange, but good as well, and when Lister moved up behind him, the blunt end of his cock nudging at Rimmer's opening, Rimmer pushed backwards, silently begging for more. Lister obliged, and although Rimmer felt as if his legs were going to give out from underneath him, and it was awkward, he still felt the coiling tension of his impending orgasm.

'Listy--'

'Just enjoy it,' Lister said, and though Rimmer couldn't see his face, he thought Lister might be crying. 'Come for me, Rimmer. I want you to. I love you.' His hand on Rimmer's cock only sped them towards the inevitable, and all too soon Rimmer was crying out, his legs holding out just long enough for him to feel the pulse of Lister's climax inside him before they both fell to the slippery shower floor, the water raining down on them like the tears of a lost lover.

* * *

Rimmer got back to the room he shared with Kochanski and Holly half an hour later, after showering properly and then making some embarrassed small talk with Lister.

'AJ, what's the matter?' Kochanski asked, making him a cup of tea without him needing to ask. Her cheeks were flushed and she and Holly both bore sated smiles. 'You look stressed.'

'I -- I visited Lister,' Rimmer muttered.

'It's more than that,' Holly said. 'You went to Lister's room at three fifty-eight, and left at five forty-two. You two drank for a while before switching the privacy on. What happened?'

'Holly, just because you're the computer doesn't give you the right to keep tabs on me,' Rimmer said.

'I didn't do it on purpose. I notice things that feed into the security system automatically. Just like I notice things in this body, like seeing that your hair's wet and you smell like Lister's shampoo. Did you have sex with him?'

'I love how direct this relationship is.'

'You had sex with Dave?' Kochanski didn't look hurt so much as apologetic. 'Oh, AJ, I didn't realise we'd driven you away. You could've stayed, honest, we would've welcomed you.'

'It's your anniversary, not mine. Our anniversary is on Valentine's Day. I thought you deserved the day together.' Rimmer hung his head. 'Are you mad at me?'

'No,' Kochanski said.

'Sort of,' Holly said, 'but I guess I can't blame you.' She looked vaguely sulky. 'I was just saying to Kris that I wished you hadn't run off.'

'I'm sorry,' Rimmer said. 'I'm sorry I ran off, and I'm sorry it was to do what I did.'

'Was it any good?' Kochanski asked with real interest.

'It was all right, but I'd much rather be with you two.' Rimmer slid his left arm around Kochanski's waist and pulled Holly towards them with his right hand. 'You two do more than just satisfy me.'

'I'll bet,' Kochanski said, giggling.

The three of them tumbled onto the bed. Though he'd already had sex with Lister, Rimmer felt himself getting hard again as the two women both touched him, Kochanski stroking his face and neck with her hands and her lips, Holly preferring as always to get straight down to business and undoing his belt. He relaxed under their touch -- well, mostly. One particular part of him was still quite tense, but then, it helped if it was.

'So what made you give in to Dave?' Kochanski asked. 'I knew he was interested, but I didn't think you would be.'

'Guh,' Rimmer said. 'Guh, dth.'

Kochanski glanced at Holly. 'Hol, I'm trying to talk to him here, could you stop that for a moment?'

Holly sighed and stopped what she was doing with her mouth. 'Make it quick.'

'We were drunk,' Rimmer said.

'That's quick enough.' Holly went back to what she had been doing, Kochanski went back to playing with Rimmer's body instead of messing with his mind, and Rimmer went back to enjoying their touch and forgetting all about his encounter with Lister.

For the time being.


End file.
